Tuesday, January 4, 2011

We have a problem.

Okay - well not me and you.  It's me and my husband.  I'm not going to say 'he' has a problem because I feel sort of responsible for letting it go on.  I just went to the store with our last $30 til Thursday and bought a few things for tomorrow.  I get home and we are chatting while smoking a cigarette... he pulls out $7.  I said (mostly hoping its a joke) "You saved that for in case you needed a 6-pack tomorrow- didn't you?"  Here's where the problem comes in.  He says "Yes I did" with a straight face.  He's not joking at all.
Are you serious?  I'm thinking in my head 'Is this guy for real'?  I don't know if I am okay with this.  Yes I smoke  and yes I have a drink every once in a while... sometimes many days in a row.  But when I say I have a drink I drink at most 3 beers.  For my husband a 12 pack is often not enough for the night.  This worries me sometimes.

And it also is part of the reason that I am working on this journey to learn about myself and what I want in life.  Up til now I have just gone with the flow of life.  Well now I'm at the point where I want to think about me.  I feel like if I like myself and where I'm at in life more then I will be able to be a better wife and a better mother and just a better person all around.  I hope so anyways.  

This blog will be for me to journal about this process. It's going to be where I empty my brain on many occasions.  It will be where I say things that I am thinking but don't have anyone to talk to about.  I will talk about sports, the fact that I'm working on building a website, that I love digital scrapbooking, maybe even my kids every once in a while.  Probably a lot about my marriage.  The one thing I can guarantee is - I will be open and honest about everything.  Because these are my thoughts and this is my space to release. 

So that's kind of my warning to anyone that happens across this little blog!  :)

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